Ah! And a Good Evening to you good Sir or Ma'am! Patio Daddio here reminding you that Grillin' Season is fast approachin' and it's shapin' up to be a good one! If you're like me, meat is constantly on your mind. That's why The Daddio is here to drop some knowledge about the do's, dont's, should's, and wont's about BBQin' in this beautiful summer of your Lord: 2011! Let's get started, yes?
1. Use the Right Grill- Charcoal that is. I'll only disagree with Hank Hill about two things- the Cowboys and Propane.Other than those, we are one-in-the-same. Simply stated, propane is a cop-out. It takes away from the thrill and challenge of cooking meat at the right temperature and consistency, plus dem fancy hooks and counters ain't nothin' but trouble. If you're a true Wisconsinite, excuse me, American, use charcoal. The taste of the end product can't be beat, and maintaining a steady flame will compensate for your erectile dysfunction.
2. Pay Equal Attention to Your 'Supporting Cast'- Everyone knows meat is king at the BBQ, but do not neglect necessities that can enhance His power. Just as DeNiro needed Jodie Foster or Harvey Keitel or, dare I say, Joe Pesci, a good burger needs good potato salad while a good rack-a-ribs needs some good baked beans. Chips, dip, pasta salad, and if women are there, fruit salad, are all acceptable side dishes too. Remember: a burger with no salad is like Pav with no back hair, just don't look right.
3. Alcohol/Ambiance- The former is a must. No questions asked. If there's no booze, there's no BBQ. The latter is negotiable depending upon convenience and preferences of your group. Preferably, a big back yard with a pool and several skinny-dippin' women. But we all can't be Spencer Murphy. So realistically just a back yard. Music, along with booze, is also a must. Classic Rock usually sets the perfect mood although rap is preferred when drinking 40s and/or grillin' chicken. PBRs or High Life are ideal beers for any grillin' situation: they taste swell on a hot summer day and go down easy so you can keep drinkin' em.
These are just a few broad suggestions from the Patio Daddio. Once Grillin' Season is truly upon us, I'll go through the intricacies. Here is a few of my "can't-wait-to-grill-and-eat" foods:
Brats- If I got a good paycheck I'll go to Ray's and get some Beer n' Onion Brats. Never boil before you set em on the grill- just poke a few holes in em. Slow cook em for about 20-25 mins. Put brown mustard, onions, and Frank's Kraut on there and you're ready to go my friend.
Burgers- Don't cop-out and buy the frozen pre-made patties you noob. Buy some fresh ground chuck (preferably 20-25% fat) and cook em to your likin'. Some American cheese, ketchup and onion never fails.
Ribs- If you're really fellin' frisky, get a rack-a-ribs my friend. Complement with some good beer (Newcastle or Hacker Pschorr always worked for me), beans and tater salad and you are l-i-v-i-n, yep, l-i-v-i-n the la dolce vita as the I-talians would say. Put the ribs in a pan, pour a couple beers over it, top with onions and some seasoning salt and bake it for about 45 mins in the over. Take it out, slather on some Sweet Baby Rays (no exceptions), grill it for 10-15 mins and you got a feast.
Happy Grillin'!
PD
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